Let's Start at the Very Beginning...A Very Good Place to Start!

No, I'm not really going to start at the beginning of my life and take you aaaall the way through the 31 years that I have been in existence. What I am going to do is list the earliest memories that I have with my parents and things about me that my boys might find interesting to know. Maybe they'll be interesting to you, too...If not, feel free to move on along....:)

1. My parents were convinced I was a boy. You see, my Granny Sue (my Daddy's Momma) had 5 kids... 4 boys and 1 girl. Those kids had 8 sons and 1 daughter. You see how there was a very slim chance that I would be a girl, don't you? Therefore, the only name my parents had picked out for me was "Geoffrey". I have to tell you that if I had been a boy and named Geoffrey, I would not be happy... Now, I am not sure why I would have been named "Geoffrey" because of 2 things. 1: My Momma called me "Sam" from early on in her pregnancy. Apparently, there was some movie with an irresistibly cute blonde-haired little boy named Sam and Mom had to call me that instead of "it" or "the baby". And 2: When my brother was born 3 years later, he was not named "Geoffrey" but he was named after my Daddy: Joseph Patrick Ellis II...

Anyway, I digress... When I was born (at 4:30 am...very important to note here) and came out a girl, there was a slight dilemma. What on earth would I be named? Since I had been called "Sam" since close to day 1 and my Daddy's great grandmother was named Samantha, I was given her name. There was some discussion of a middle name and the doctor who delivered me suggested "Dawn" since I was born so close to dawn. And there you have it...Samantha Dawn Ellis! I have always loved my name and am SOOOOO thankful that I wasn't born into a name that could have led me to be confused with a giant giraffe that is the spokesperson for a toy store!!!!!

It is also important to note at this time that the other girl born into my Daddy's side of the family was named Andi. There you have it...the ONLY 2 girls from that lot of testosterone and we were named "Andi" and "Sam"...Is there something so terribly wrong with embracing estrogen and the color pink?!?!?!?! (My sweet little sister was given an incredibly cute, girly name: Elle (pronounced like Ellie not Elle, the magazine or model) Grace.)

2. I am a perfectionist and have been since I was very small. My mom tells me that before I would say a new word in front of anyone, I would practice saying it in the privacy of my roon. She would hear me. I also practiced walking in my room before showing off this awesome act of independence and freedom. So there you have it...I have been afraid to be embarassed or fail since I was a wee little thing. I have worked hard to harness this awesome "talent" and have found it much easier the older I get. Still not perfect at it, but I am getting there. HAHAHA! I am just so funny, right?! O-K...

3. I have always stood back and watched and taken in the scene before participating. I see this in Caleb and I want to allow him the freedom to be this way, but I don't want it to inhibit him as it has me in so many areas of my life. I don't want him to be afraid to try or just jump in there. We work on this daily, together. We'll be fine, I'm sure...

4. I am terribly sarcastic and I am SO proud of it!!!!! Haven't figured that out yet? Just wait, I am sure you will before this journey is through. It is the most useful tool of distraction or point-making! You see, you can really call someone to the carpet without having to say something completely mean and hateful...Sarcasm is my humor and I appreciate those who share this gift! :)

5. I am addicted to chocolate. Yes, I said addicted! I get this from my Daddy...I also get my addiction for office supplies from him. I am an admitted thief. If there is a pen that just molds perfectly to my hand and the ink flows from it so smoothly across the paper, then it becomes mine. (Of course I don't steal from stores, just from the unsuspecting consultant at my counters:))

6. I get my non-existent chin from my Mema. Jobe and Elle (my brother and sister) also have this really awesome trait. You see, our chins just melt right into our necks. There is no defined jaw line and this makes taking pictures SUPER interesting. The angle has to be just right so we don't look like a bullfrog with his neck puffed out...Caleb, thankfully, doesn't appear to have inherited this from me! Cutler, well, it's just too early to tell. He has a chin, well actually he has about 4 of them right now, but I am sure as he grows we will be able to make a positive identification...Yes, I pray that this gene skipped him, too...

7. Music cures all for me. I remember my Daddy singing "Dock of the Bay," "Dixie," and "Swing Low" to me as a child. Those are some of my earliest and fondest memories. I remember his wonderful voice while I was playing in the tub and then when he was getting me ready for bed. I am passing this love and appreciation of music on to my kids. Caleb LOVES to ride with the windows down and the radio blaring! He is currently hooked on "Fishing in the Dark" by Nitty Gritty Dirt Band and "Dock of the Bay". He really knows how to ruin a good song, though. We listen to them over and over and over, back to back...The most amazing sound I have ever heard was just the other day. I picked the boys up from Mom's and as we were riding home, Caleb and I were belting out "Fishing in the Dark" and Caleb had Cutler laughing so hard that I thought he might not be able to catch his breath. I could've driven around all night just to keep that sound going.

When I first got my license and my means of freedom, I would drive for hours (this was when gas was about 89 cents a gallon) and listen to songs that made me cry, laugh, remember, and think. This was my therapy, you see. I can listen to music and my mood can be changed in an instant. I pray that music is always my therapy, even when I need a hearing aid to appreciate it.

I am going to pause with these 7 thoughts...I have to fix lunch for my hungry little boys...I can promise there will be more to come:) Excited, aren't ya?

i am sam...

This is me...Samantha Dawn Ellis Blackston.

I was born a Virgo (not that I know or really care what all that means) on September 3rd in good ol' Easley, SC. My entrance into this world coupled with the first 6 months of my life was not an easy time for my Momma and actually led my Daddy to tell her that I was "it!" No other children would follow...Thankfully, I have not reaped what I sowed in those first 6 months and my parents went on to have 2 more children. We are hands-down the most wonderful 3 children ever brought into the world, aside from my own 2 beautiful bundles of joy wrapped up in the form of little men. I suppose I should also include my husband as one of those wonderful children, although I am not sure his parents would agree:)

I love to read and I love to write. I love all things creative and I want to leave behind stories and memories for my children to share with their children and their children's children. I want my boys to know their Mommy in such a way that there will never be any doubt about the blood that is flowing in their veins, where they came from or what hopes and dreams I have for them. Most importantly, however, I want them to FEEL the love I have for them not only today, but forever... when I can't touch them or whisper in their ears all that my heart holds...

My intentions are always grand. Unfortunately, my follow-through could use some work at times. A wonderful friend, who also happens to be my boss, suggested I start a blog in an effort to do all that I have shared above. I have to thank Mrs. Lynn Toney for this recommendation and ask her to hold me accountable to keep up with it!

While I love my children more than I could ever dream and with more love than my heart can hold, I am more than Caleb's and Cutler's Mommy. I want to share with you (and them) exactly who I am...Sam!